Teenager in the high wall： I didn’t want to be bullied by him all my life, so I stood up and resisted!
South Korean director Huang Donghe directed the national show of bullied boys in The Melting Pot. Text-picture independence
Teenagers screaming in court
Shi Fan (pseudonym), seventeen years old, was born in a small town under the jurisdiction of anniversary, Heilongjiang Province. He is weak, tall, and doesn’t talk much. He wears a pair of black-rimmed glasses and knows at a glance that he is an introverted and honest child. I was in the third grade before I entered the prison. I studied very well and should have a good future.
With my question and answer, in his steady and slow narrative, a teenager who was bullied since childhood and finally broke out in silence gradually came to me and walked into my pen …
Shi Fan was weak from childhood, introverted and weak, and he never dared to resist being bullied by others. In primary school, a group of boys forced him to write homework for them, and if he didn’t write, he beat him. He had to submit to humiliation and write down one by one on his desk until he finished it all. He never cried to others when he was wronged, but always swallowed it silently, because he had no one to say.
At the age of ten, his parents who worked outside the home divorced. He was awarded to his father, lived in the countryside with his grandparents, and never saw his mother again. He didn’t know where his mother went, and it was not until he went to prison that his mother came to visit him for the first time. However, the meeting between mother and son in the reformatory was very unpleasant.
The first time he saw his mother outside the glass window, he felt very strange. He didn’t see his mother for seven or eight years. He didn’t remember her appearance, let alone his feelings.
However, the mother remembers her son. Although he has grown taller and grown into a boy of 1.80 meters, she remembers his eyebrows and remembers the feeling of being connected with her mother. When she saw her son locked up in prison for murder, she was so sad that she couldn’t help crying.
Mother and son can only talk by phone through thick glass.
Mother, like many divorced women in the world, made an emotional mistake. She poured her resentment against her ex-husband for many years into her son behind bars like a floodgate, criticizing her ex-husband’s "guilt", complaining that her ex-husband didn’t discipline her children well, which made her son go today. She also said that she was sick and it was all caused by them …
At first, Shi Fan just listened. When his mother asked him anything, he grunted and perfunctory and didn’t want to refute it. But he was disgusted to hear his mother criticizing his father’s "crimes", as if his mother came here not to see him, but to vent her resentment against his father.
In December 2016, my mother came to see him for the last time. As soon as the mother and son met in the interview room, my mother began to criticize my father’s crimes, and said how bad my father was and how he failed to discipline his children, which made him commit a big crime …
Hearing this, this taciturn teenager, who rarely refutes others, couldn’t listen any longer. He had the best relationship with his father since he was a child, and his father was very strict with his study and discipline. After my parents divorced, my father worked alone to earn money to support this family, supporting my grandfather, grandmother and brother-in-law. My brother-in-law has bilateral femoral head necrosis, so he can’t do heavy physical labor. Grandpa has stomach cancer, and he needs money everywhere to go to school. The burden of life for the whole family is all on his father. He felt that his father lived too hard and tired. So he grew up, no matter what difficulties he encountered, he never gave his father any trouble, and he never asked his father for money. He felt that his father’s burden was heavy enough. Moreover, after he committed a crime, the court ruled that his family compensated the victim for 220,000 yuan. My father borrowed all his relatives, but he still couldn’t make up this astronomical compensation. My father asked his mother for help, but her mother said she had no money!
These grievances that have been deposited in the hearts of teenagers for many years have finally erupted like a volcano.
"I won’t allow you to slander my father like this! My father raised me hard, and you? You keep saying that my father didn’t discipline me well, which made me come to this day. Then I ask you, where were you when I needed my mother most? Where were you when others bullied me, beat me and called me a motherless child? After all these years, have you thought about your son’s life or death? I committed a crime, and the court ordered my family to pay 220,000 yuan to the victim’s family. My father cried and apologized to the victim’s family, begging grandpa to sue grandma, borrowing money everywhere, and borrowing all the relatives and friends. He just didn’t kneel down to others, but he still didn’t get enough 220,000 yuan. But what about you? Dad found you, hoping you could give me some money, but you said you had no money, not a penny … Now, what qualifications do you have to scold my dad! I tell you, please don’t come again, I never want to see you again! " Then he turned and walked to the small door behind him, leaving his mother alone.
……
These words of mother’s slandering father made Shi Fan’s heart restless for a long time.
In the dead of night, he looked at the waning moon outside the iron window and recalled his lonely childhood-
After his parents divorced, he became a motherless child, and he became weaker and weaker by nature. Students bullied him even more unscrupulously, and went to the county to go to middle school for accommodation. Some naughty students often charged him "protection money", stuck him in the toilet and forced him to pay, or beat him if he didn’t pay. They often rob him of food money, and he is often hungry.
To this end, he looked for a teacher, and the school director also looked for the police station. The police at the police station said that these students are all 12 or 13 years old, and they are all under the age of 14 years old. They have no choice but to rely on the school to persuade and educate them.
However, for these naughty students, the teacher can’t control them at all. Some people stop classes for a month or two and then come to school to make trouble. They fight in the school and collect protection money, which makes the campus messy and students who want to study can’t study with peace of mind.
When the students who beat him learned that he had found a teacher, they became more and more bitter and intensified. Four or five people blocked him in the dormitory, toilet or aisle many times and punched and kicked him. He can’t do anything about them, but he can only bury his hatred deeply in his heart.
During this period, there was a stabbing incident in the school: a student stabbed a student who asked him for money with a knife, but he was not sentenced because he was under 14 years old. Since then, no one has dared to bully the stabbing student.
This incident caused a very bad negative impact in the school, and also gave Shi Fan a wrong hint: since teachers and police stations can’t solve the problem, it seems that they can only solve it by themselves!
Shi Fan loves reading novels, especially online novels. He saw the hero of an online novel being bullied since he was a child, then he began to resist, and finally he became stronger and stronger, and no one dared to bully him anymore. The hero in the novel said: "A bullied person will never succeed, and he must learn to resist!" " He saw himself from the hero of the novel and understood some so-called "life truths".
In his repressed and confused struggle, time came to New Year’s Day in 2015.
January 2nd was a good day for the beginning of the new year. Fifteen-year-old Shi Fan graduated from junior high school for half a year, and he was about to enter the senior high school. His academic performance was good, and he was full of confidence in himself.
On January 2, he met the last person he wanted to see on his way home-a fellow villager who bullied him.
This young man deceives others. When he sees Shi Fan, he looks like a cat sees a mouse, and commands him with disdain: "Hey! I have no money. At six o’clock in the evening, bring more money to my house. I will wait for you at home! "
Shi Fan didn’t answer. He remembered the sentence that Lu Xun said in the textbook: "If you don’t break out in silence, you will perish in silence!"
"Did you hear that? Are you dumb? " The boy thundered at the sentence again.
Shi Fan still didn’t answer.
Shi Fan went home and read the novel online for a while to see how the doormat hero in the novel began to resist.
At six o’clock in the evening, he pushed open the boy’s house with a switchblade.
At the teenager’s home, grandparents are away, and they all go out to play mahjong. Only the teenager is lying under the bed watching TV. He looked up at Shi Fan and asked him in an arrogant tone, "Did you bring any money?"
Shi Fan replied, "No money."
"Bastard! Don’t you dare tell Lao Tzu that you have no money, you fucking want to die! " The teenager got up and swore.
"You scold me again!" Shi Fan resisted for the first time in his life, and at the same time flashed his switchblade.
The teenager didn’t expect Shifan to show his knife, and he became more and more angry. He punched Shifan and called him. Shifan raised his spring knife and stabbed him fiercely …
Shi Fan doesn’t remember how many knives he stabbed. He only remembers that the spring knife was bent. He only felt that the stone that had been pressing on his heart for many years and made him breathless finally disappeared with a burst of disorderly stabbing. He felt a relief he had never felt before.
At this point, he and I fell silent.
After a while, I asked him, "Son, don’t you regret it after you come in?"
"No regrets." He replied very decisively, "He has been bullying me since he was a child, and no one can control him. I regret that my family lost 220 thousand. My father cried bitterly in court and apologized to the victim’s family, hoping to get their understanding of me. I feel sorry for my father … "
Obviously, his crime is not accidental, but an inevitable result that has been suppressed for a long time and cannot be let go.
"How many years have you been sentenced?" I asked.
"Seven years."
"What did you say in the final statement of the court?"
"The judge asked me if I had anything to say. I said yes! I said that judges should be equal when they are born. However, the victim has been bullying me, beating me and asking me for money since childhood, from primary school to middle school, from the village to the county seat … until the day of the accident, he was still forcing me to give him money. I had no money to give him, and I didn’t want to be bullied by him all my life, so I stood up and resisted! He bullied me when I was a child, and my grandmother looked for his house, but his father was shot for drug trafficking, and his mother ran away from home, leaving only his grandparents at home, which was beyond his control. My grandmother also looked for the village chief, and the village chief could do nothing about him. I looked for the school teacher, but the teacher couldn’t control him. The school also looked for the police station. The police station said that he was not of legal age … I saw that parents, village heads, teachers and police couldn’t control him. I didn’t want to be bullied by him forever, so I had to solve him myself … "
Yes, anyone who hears this will be shocked.
A 15-year-old boy who was bullied by school violence actually shouted out the helpless voice of a vulnerable boy in court, saying that the children in school bullying had been struggling for a long time to find a way to solve the problem-there was no way to ask for help, and finally they had to take violence against violence and break the law in exchange for their dignity and rights. This invisibly puts forward a serious proposition to the school, the society and the law-how to solve the problem of school bullying for children under 14 years old? We can’t let him go on fooling around because he is not under criminal age!
But at the moment, I really want to say to Shi Fan, son, if the victim bullies you again, you have no right to deprive others of their lives! You know what a heavy price you have to pay for this. In seven years, you may have graduated from college. But now, you will spend seven long years behind bars. Besides, the child who was killed was also the product of family tragedy: his father was shot for drug trafficking, his mother ran away from home, and he was negligent in discipline with his grandparents since childhood …
But I didn’t say anything, only asked him if he thought about what he planned to do in the future.
"I want to be a writer!" He said without thinking, "I wanted to be a writer very early. I think writers’ works can change people. In the first grade of junior high school, I began to write novels, and now I am also writing novels … "
"oh? Want to be a writer? " I’m quite surprised.
This is the fourth teenager I met in an interview who wants to be a writer. There are two in Longjiang. I encourage them to write their own experiences, which will be very valuable to society.
The interview is over, but my heart is hard to calm for a long time, and I really want to do something for two hometown teenagers with writer dreams.
In the evening, I invited Director Cui Lifeng of Heilongjiang Provincial Prison Bureau, and also invited Tong Kun, editor-in-chief of Northern Literature, and two directors in charge of education of the prison bureau to have dinner together, and talked to them about the writers’ dreams of two teenagers. I hope the leaders can give support and care to the two teenagers. If possible, please ask Northern Literature magazine to publish articles written by teenagers, which will be a great encouragement to them.
I said, "No matter whether they can become writers in the future, they can have a beautiful dream, which will be an invisible motivation in their long career behind bars. In their future life, they will have a look forward, hope and motivation. This is a positive energy that cannot be underestimated! "
Unexpectedly, my proposal was highly appreciated by several directors. Editor-in-chief Tong Kun immediately stated: "They have finished writing, and our Northern Literature can be published!"
Director Cui Lifeng said: "This is a good thing. In order to save the children, we must fully support it!"
Great! I was very happy to see the support of the leaders, so I stretched out a hand and overlapped it with the hands of the three directors and editors one by one. I said, "Please remember our promise today."
All four people present nodded solemnly. It is not only a promise, but also a redemption for juvenile delinquents.
The next day, I also met two teenagers with writer’s dreams.
The police came to me with two tall and straight teenagers like Tian Yang. I told them the attitude of several directors and editors last night. Both teenagers looked at me with eyes wide open and unbelievable, with an indescribable surprise in their eyes …
I said, "I hope you can seize this rare opportunity, no matter whether you can become writers in the future, but having a beautiful dream will be a powerful driving force on your life!" "
The two teenagers bowed deeply to me and said that they would never live up to my expectations …
Not long ago, I received a phone call from editor-in-chief Tong, telling me that Shi Fan’s manuscript had been finished, and he asked Fu Defang, a senior editor of Northern Literature, to seriously revise it and prepare it for publication in Northern Literature magazine.
"Oh, great! Thank you so much, thank you so much! " I have repeatedly expressed my thanks to Editor Tong.
I know very well what this manuscript means to a 17-year-old boy who has suffered from school bullying and is still serving his sentence in an unguarded prison. What does it mean to a teenager with a writer’s dream?
Perhaps, this is really a good start.
"Retrospection"-this novella documentary work from the hands of juvenile delinquents will be published in the eighth issue of Northern Literature in 2018. Moreover, Heilongjiang Juvenile Delinquency Center will hold a seminar on this work. This is not only a nod to a work, but also a light for the life of a lost teenager. I believe it will illuminate not only a lost teenager, but also more imprisoned hearts.
(From "Mom, Give me a hand", by Zhang Yawen, People’s Literature Publishing House, September 2018)
About the author: Zhang Yawen was born in 1944. Once a national first-class speed skater, he is now a national first-class writer and honorary vice chairman of Heilongjiang Writers Association. He has visited South Korea, Russia, Asia and Europe for many times at his own expense, and published more than 20 works, such as China Women at the Gunpoint of the Gestapo, Centennial Bells-Reflections on Hong Kong, Playing with the Devil-Thinking for the Future, China’s Physician of the President of South Korea, Scream of Life, Woman Crossing the Man’s River, etc. It is also China Women at the Gunpoint of the Gestapo.
His works have won many awards, such as Publicity Department of the Communist Party of China’s "Five-One Project" Book Award, Lu Xun Literature Award, Xu Chi Reportage Literature Award, China Film Huabiao Award, Chinese TV Drama Flying Award and so on. Many works have been translated into foreign languages and spread overseas. On June 24th, 2015, the Chairman of the Supreme Leader presented his English version of the anti-war novel China Woman at the Gunpoint of the Gestapo as a national gift to Belgian King Philip.
